no gays allowed in san francisco.


gomer pyle was gay? no way!

tonight my band played at the stud, a bar in san francisco that is better known as a “gay bar.” on thursdays, they host rock shows with all sorts of music. my prog band had the pleasure of sharing the bill with a folk group and a singer-songwriter. what was weird about this whole thing was the backlash i received from a lot my “progressive” acquaintances. one asked, “is tonight tranny night?” with a smirk and an aggressive tone. did he mean transgender, transexual, or transvestite? he didn’t make it clear. another, who is a very nice guy and wouldn’t ever pass harsh judgement on anybody (aloud), honestly thought that if he wore a pink shirt then he would get his ass grabbed. there were a lot of similar reactions from friends that would take too much time to document, and, frankly, i don’t want to get too deep into it. i guess the reason i’m writing this post is because i became hyper-aware of the homophobia in san francisco in one night. i knew it had to exist, but it’s one of those things that no one ever brings up — no one even uses expressions like “that’s gay!” to say something sucks like everyone does everywhere else. so before you get all high and mighty about hating san francisco for being the gayest town in the world, take comfort in the fact that there are still plenty of assholes like you with just as many insecurities about other people’s sexuality running around hating on gays willy nilly.


2 Responses to “no gays allowed in san francisco.”

  1. Tom Katsumi Says:

    Thanks for this – I come from a small English town that has been dubbed “the homophobic capital of Britain” (Now I live in London which is a lot easier for me as a gay man). This post is very familiar and isn’t so different from my experiences. It sounds strange but it makes me glad to know that, contrary to belief, there isn’t some kind of gay mecca across the other side of the world that i’m not a part of. With the exception of Jamaica and a fair number of muslim countries, it’s nice to know that the developed world is moving forward for homosexuals in a slow, homogenous way (sorry, couldn’t resist the pun) rather than in erratic leaps forward in isolated areas – as this is the best basis for all stable, long-term change.

    • felixincognito Says:

      don’t get me wrong, compared to other/most sections of the united states san francisco definitely has its forward leaps in certain respects to gay culture and it deserves its gay friendly reputation. i think the intent of this post was to point out that even though we’ve made leaps and bounds culturally, we still have a lot of learn and accept and a lot of people who claim to subscribe to progressive ideas like equality, diversity, blah blah, are still making underhanded remarks about things like playing music in a gay bar despite being straight. not cool. but, i’m hopeful that we’ll get where we need to be, not only with gay issues, but with other issues of acceptance and understanding.

      thanks for reading my blog, tom!

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