not intended for intelligent consumption.

i just got back from seeing a perfect getaway, the new steve zahn/tim olyphant suspense thriller. steve zahn can’t seem to get a break these days, that is if you don’t take rescue dawn into consideration. this movie isn’t bad. that’s not why i’m writing this, but you should be warned that my pop culture counterpart and i figured this movie out during the opening shot. no kidding! i assume that most of my following will more than likely not pay $11 to see this movie, so i’m going to come out and say that steve zahn did it. luckily, most of you are smart enough to have predicted this after seeing the first preview. in the opening seuqence, you get footage of a wedding, only you’re not shown who actually gets married, just testimony from the groomsmen and various friends and siblings. immediately i thought, “when are they going to show steve and milla (jovovich)?” of course, i tried to let the thought bloom until suzanna, the pop culture counterpart, leaned over and said, “they did it.” the shot that set it in stone was when milla kept repeating their names, practicing their names, even. This led me to believe that they killed the newlyweds and assumed their identies. it’s so obvious! the entire movie seemed so deliberate and self-aware that it went through my mind that, maybe, they are gloating about the fact that they can manipulate their audience so well that even the liberal arts educated attendees will fall for it…. nope. the movie unfolded as expected and we were left mildly disappointed, but still somewhat entertained. don’t get me wrong. this movie isn’t bad. in fact, it’s good. just predictable. i didn’t waste any time. i did, however, waste $4 on stale popcorn. lesson learned. or was it?

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